I like to know what's coming up ahead in life. I like plans and plan B's. I like to write things down and track progress or regression. I don't like when plan A and B both fall through, though. I tend to take it as an indication that I didn't do my homework, I missed a sign that was big as day and it's my fault for not thinking things all the way through.
Sometimes, I'm flexible with change. I can block the frustration out of my mind and keep kicking just in order to get where I gotta go. A few moments pass and I'm over it. But, sometimes change can be so detrimental to faith and philosophy of life that you feel stifled and stagnant. I have news: that's life :). It sucks, man. It sucks so much to know you've been aiming for the wrong target all this time. It sucks to think that God saw you looking at a destination knowing all this time that that wasn't the actual destination. At that point, what do you do? What do you do when your convictions and desires change?
There is no doubt of this one thing, you can't get to the next place in life if you don't decide that it's time to move. You don't have to be a Christian to take the apostle Paul's advice from the New Testament:
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14 KJV)
Before you know where you're moving to, you must, first, rest in the idea that you need to move forward. Everything from your past that grew with you, thank God for it. Everything that didn't grow, stayed like it was for a reason. When things in your current life spoil, more than likely, you need to leave it there unless there is a covenant binding you to the circumstance. I'M NOT SAYING BE A QUITTER, but, Paul says to forget those things that are behind because the last thing you want is a past issue that either spoiled or didn't further grow to influence your season of planting, now. That means that if you're in a covenant, you won't necessarily be leaving the covenant behind, but more those things that are prohibiting growth in that situation. You cannot use old seeds to plant new crops. That's not even spiritual, that's science. Once the seed has been broken, it immediately dies and yields all the fruit that it can. Your best bet is to take the new seeds that came out of that fruit. In practical terms, the "fruit" would be the part of the circumstance that was nutritious for you to grow to a higher capacity and the "new seeds" would be the lessons learned from your experience that can be put into practice. (It's a cycle, putting the new lessons into practice, or planting good seeds, will help you yield good fruit to be nourishment to the soul. Check out Matthew 7:19-20)
Every situation, good or bad, all things, work together for your good if you love The Lord. That's a promise, sweetie :). So, just love The Lord. Find out what it means to love The Lord and then do it.
That's not enough for you? You need specific instructions before you can be at peace? Well, let's think about it.. You could get specific instructions. Didn't you have specific plans before, though? Didn't those fall through? Could it be that you need to learn how trust God with even those things where the plan is unclear?
Some things do require details. Career choices, school dilemmas, etc., and in those cases, it's understandable if you feel haste in having an answer right now. Other things, though, knowing the outcome will just make you feel more in control. It won't change anything. However, you must trust God in that those things that were left behind were left on purpose; and that those things that are ahead are also in His control and care. He WILL reveal to you the plan in bits and season. Old fruit that old seeds once gave you may even come to use for those things that lie ahead, but while you wait for the uncovering of what the prize is, you must continue to press. There is a general direction that The Lord has given you and that's to press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. You're not as lost as you think you are. Continue to pursue God. In time, you will see doors open. Old nightmares will inspire new dreams and your purpose will become clearer. But don't be afraid to forget what was behind you. If it's for you, it'll come back and add specific meaning to what your purpose and your prize of the higher calling is, whatever that higher calling may be.
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