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| New Orleans, Louisiana levee post Katrina, pre-reconstruction |
We are born into a world of chaos and when we come to a certain age, we all attempt to make sense of the preexisting concept of love. Love was here before your eyes were fully developed, but it can take a lifetime to see it for what it is. If you're anything like me, you have grand epiphanies about it and how it relates to your life, but they are short-lived and overshadowed by reality --and that reality is that there is chaos in each and every one of our individual worlds. When I say chaos, I'm not talking about rain here, and there.. I'm talking hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis and tornadoes. Circumstances that have the power to leave your home broken and keepsakes destroyed. I'm talking situations that can take years to recover from. After destruction and devastation, the most pivotal thing that a person can do is rebuild and recover.
How we choose to rebuild can be traced back to how things were destroyed in the first place. For example, after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina in 2005 in the city of New Orleans, Louisiana, officials had to discuss the why. There were, and probably still are, many theories. All in all, people in power agreed that the levees, that were designed to control the flow of neighboring waters, failed. In fact, the storm itself, had not hit the city but because the levees were not built to sustain the type of force that Hurricane Katrina carried within her elements, the city was mournfully affected. With that being said, during post-Katrina efforts, it was a priority to not only rebuild the city, but to build levees that would be effective --$14 billion type of effective. Only a fool would rebuild the levees as they were before the storm given that the initial architecture was simply inadequate.
So, let's go back. After destruction and devastation, the most pivotal thing a person can do is rebuild and recover. Much like Hurricane Katrina to the city of New Orleans, circumstances hit our lives and while sometimes we can see it coming, we don't always expect the impact it will have. So, after an unexpected situation has enough impact to destroy everything you've known, the goal is to rebuild in such a way that will prevent it from happening again. In New Orleans, they built levees, in our lives, we build WALLS.
Emotional walls keep us from building and mending relationships (friends, family, etc). But essentially, that's why we built them. When bad friendships effect our lives, we don't want them anymore, so we build a wall and write "NO NEW FRIENDS" on it. When family members hurt us one too many times, we feel certain that if you can't trust family, then you can't trust anybody. We build a wall and write "CAN'T TRUST NOBODY" on it. After a while, we invest so much into these walls that not only are we not letting people in, but we can't get from behind it ourselves.
MYTH BUSTER #1 : Emotional walls may give you comfort, but they do not provide as much protection as we would like and they certainly do not help us grow. That simply cannot be when the most edifying thing we can do as humans is to interact in love. "Only surround yourself with people who love you the way you want to be loved". There is no such pure love that will ONLY be given in response to people who love you the way you want to be loved. That's unrealistic and kind of self-centered.
You want to have hope, but you're tired of the fight that comes with maintaining the hope.
You want to pray, but you're afraid that God won't hear or talk back, so take defeat before trying.
You don't want to be rude, but resentment is plastered all over your wall and you can't get passed it.
You want to forget how disappointed you were, but fear that it'll happen again is painted all over your wall and you stop moving.
You want to mend friendships or form new ones, but emotional memories are stapled to your wall next to faces and you think you don't have anything else to give.
YOU CAN'T OUT AND NOBODY CAN GET IN ...sometimes, not even God.
Perfect love is a divine phenomenon and we are merely human, so not everyone will reciprocate to you the love you feel you've shown; and as much as we find the scriptures, we will never be able to perfectly fulfill it. Needless to say, a great distinction of love is being available to show love even when its uncomfortable or just not received like we think it should be.
Trust me, I know what you're trying to avoid with those walls, but we are born to love God, ourselves, and others.
MYTH BUSTER #2 : You cannot love God and despise people.
(1 John 4:20-21 KJV) And this commandment have we from Him, that he who loveth God love his brother also. If a man say 'I love God', and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
MYTH BUSTER #3 : You cannot love God however you want to do it.
(1 John 2:5-6 MSG) If someone claims, "I know Him well!" but doesn't keep His commandments, he's obviously a liar. His life doesn't match his words. But the one who keeps God's word is the person in whom we see God's mature love. This is the only way to be sure we're in God. Anyone who claims to be intimate with God ought to live the same kind of life Jesus lived.
MYTH BUSTER #4 : Staying in a toxic situation is not love, that's just toxic.
LOVE YOURSELF. If you have to restructure a relationship in such a way that you limit communication or seriously must distance yourself in order to maintain closeness with God, maintain health, and be within the perfect will of God, DO THAT.
NOBODY IS PERFECT. Therefore, nobody's expression of love is perfect, including your own. Get from behind your wall and go out and perfect your love. Help others perfect their love! You had a reason to build it and I don't doubt that, but where you expected your wall of emotions to cover you, allow the Holy Spirit to substitute.
It's a cycle, so as He covers you, you might cover someone else ;) << Reference 1 Peter 4:8
#NowPlaying
Not Just What You Say - Fred Hammond
(Something 'bout Love)
too much love,
youdontknowmebro
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