The Day I Broke Up With Him: Quicksand Sin

I don't know if he noticed that I started calling less. I would check in, but you know... I had other things to do. In any case, we spent so much time together already that we could have probably actually used some time apart. A spontaneous "I love you" text kept my feelings below the radar, but sometimes, I would just.. 

(commercial break)

I promise, promise, promise, we'll get back to the story.

I don't know about you, but when I'm close to God, I can FEEL it, although I have had to learn that the presence of God should not be determined based on a feeling (because frankly, He is everywhere at once.) Nonetheless, God has given us sensors for His presence: peace, joy, love, understanding, or His voice, even. At the same time, when I'm distant from God, I can feel that, too. I feel lack of the assurance and direction that the LORD brings. I feel tension and frustration and many, many times, I feel lost as if I had never known Him. Seriously, I would have to remind myself that I have had experiences with God that were not man made. Do you know that feeling?

BUT, HOW DOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN?!

How does a consistent, faithful, and ever-present God become... not-so-present?

 I WILL TELL YOU, BUT FIRST, KNOW THIS:

God's presence does not leave. We leave His presence. WE LEAVE HIS PRESENCE. WHAT?!?! and I tell you, I have to ask myself

"Why would I ever distance myself from something so great?"

GET READY FOR THE WAY THIS HAPPENS.

  I find myself in times, like I mentioned above, where I am all out of touch with the Lord; sometimes, it follows directly after I have experienced a season of closeness with Him. I'm talking about seasons where He's revealed secrets to me and then given me peace regarding them, no matter how uncomfortable those things would have made me under normal circumstances.

I would take everything in and worship. Give God thanks, and worship. Pray throughout the day, and worship. Notice new things, and worship. .......Until I felt full enough to believe I could be sustained for longer periods of time, FULL DAYS, without giving God what He desires... my love, my attention, my worship.

IT ONLY TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF FLESH TO GET CAUGHT IN QUICKSAND

 For me, it kind of happened like this:

For a moment, I realized that what God is requiring of me is not pleasing to my flesh. Now, it's not that I didn't love Him anymore, it's just... I just needed a break. It wasn't Him!! It was me!

(Sounds like your regular old romance movie, huh?)

So, I called less. I mean I prayed, but you know... I had other things to do. For me, it was okay, because spending so many days in my Bible caused me to feel as if I had enough biblical food to chew on for a couple days. A quick "Verse of the Day" and an occasional "I Love You" kept my head above water, or quick sand, I should say.

When things were good between us, I would spend time with Him everyday. At the very least, I would meditate on the things that He'd already told me, but you know... things started to come up. I would be sitting on the couch switching through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, my text messages, my emails, my bank accounts, getting my life in order, and then at 12:01am, realize that I never even thought about His text, Word. Standard conviction would make me think "Oh, I can't go to sleep without reading the Verse of the Day AT LEAST", something like a quick "good night" text.

I got lazy.

I didn't want the work of maintaining my relationship with God; and God was expecting unnatural things from me. You know, things like spending a consistent amount of time with a being that I cant see --UNNATURAL. Telling myself "no" to the thoughts that make sense to me, but don't agree with Him --UNNATURAL. Loving and welcoming people who hurt me --UNNATURAL. He wanted a lot... and although we had a good thing going, I got uncomfortable. So I left.

MAN THAT DEESCALATED QUICKLY!

WHEW!

Jesus tells Peter in Luke 22:31-32 Simon, Simon, Satan has desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And you, when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.

Know this: Satan wants to sift. you. as. wheat. 

He wants you and everything that God has for you. 

He wants you to get tired, and leave God. 

BUT Jesus is interceding for you

only that is not all that it takes

The reason you and I constantly find ourselves apart from God is because we keep walking away. We stop spending time in His word, in prayer, and with open ears to His voice. His voice is so important, even if what He says makes you uncomfortable or a little afraid. We allow our emotions to separate us from Him for just a moment, and before we know it, Satan has moved in to begin sifting and that small part of our flesh has us steadily sinking into a puddle of sinful quicksand. If it were fire, it would be obvious that it's something that we need to get out of, but instead, it is gentle and comfortable. The only problem is that we will surely suffocate if we don't cling to the Savior. 

It happens so fast; but there is definitely a way out.

too much love,
youdontknowmebro
NOTE: Popular posts and option to subscribe is available on the right. ❤️ Please submit your email for notifications on new blogs!